These last 2 weeks were very emotional for me for I had to face few situations.
Week earlier, I was playing Avril's Under My Skin album back to back while driving. Driving alone always give me chance to deal with my emotions. And always, Avril's My Happy Ending and Nobody's Home would lead me to tears. Imagine, I cried and with my jarring voice, sang to My Happy Ending the same time, just to counter my sadness.
Last week, I had a Quality Council meeting where the QA people highlight concerning issues to the top management and unfortunately, I got 3 and required to present to them what sort of actions taken so far. I presented it well but something happen during the meeting that my boss got embarassed when one of the managers warned him to shut up and let me speak. Second situation was when I answered the Director question while my boss was beating around the bush. Straight away after the meeting ended, we had a discussion which we already set up earlier on my Engineer's appraisal. But he changed the topic and asked my Engineer to leave his room for he wanted to discuss the earlier issue during Quality Council. Did he fell insulted?
We argued. As we always do. For I like to challenge him and he likes me for that attitude. But this time I failed and stupidly, my tears dropped. Shit. In front of him! Coz this thing was very intense for me. I cried not because im weak but because I was trying to control my anger for not to become rude to my boss. And all he did was pestering me with the thought that I already know that the 3 issues were serious. Well, it is still serious. But he didnt give the solution which a boss supposed to, till I asked him "What else do you want me to do?". He cant answer and we kept silence for about 15 seconds and moment later, I left the room as I didnt want many more tears drop in front of him.
I know I'll be facing a lot more issues tomorrow since I didnt go to work for almost 7 days now.
I was on leave last Monday just to help out my parents clearing up their last minute errands. I officially selected myself as their runner since Im the eldest not-yet-married among the family. Packed their luggage, ensure all dad's medicine tucked nicely inside his luggage (which is a lot, imagine cancer patient going abroad for 45 days) and handy bag for immediate consume, polished mom's loafers, run to Tesco for some toiletries, Mydin for mom's sarung lengan etc.
They left us the next Tuesday morning for Hajj. It was very emotional moment for us all eventho this is their second time performing Hajj, but this time, the condition is different. It was quite devastating to admit that you have to let them go. We, the siblings didnt agree at first since dad havent finished his treatment cycle yet.
That Tuesday morning around 1am, our relatives started to leave Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya. Around 2.30 am, there were only our family and we departed from mom and dad at 3am. Non of us did not cry and everybody else were looking at us like wacthing some drama episode. I never stop crying till I reach home.
I dont want to have gloomy 45 days and I am now trying these:
Who knows what could happen
Do what you do
Just keep on laughing
One thing’s true
There’s always a brand new day
I’m gonna live today like it’s my last day
